What a golf outing taught me about confidence

Not a subscriber yet? Sign up here

Today was the annual golf outing at my extended family vacation.

I rode in a cart with one of my cousins, who at times was the first to doubt his own golf skills. Before we even teed off, he said he was gonna shank it across the road on the left side of the fairway.

And guess what happened?

He shanked it across the road on the left side of the fairway.

Throughout the day, I noticed a pattern: every time he vocalized a negative thought, it seemed to come true. Not because of fate, but because he was already expecting to fail.

Then, a couple beers deep on the back nine, he said something that stuck with me:

A short statement, but packed with truth.

He had been so focused on the worst-case scenarios that he left no mental room for the better ones. And when you expect bad outcomes, you stop doing the work that prevents them.

Now, I’m not saying that thinking positively magically makes things happen.

(If you’ve unlocked that power, let me know. I’d love to borrow it)

But when you tell yourself things like:

…you become passive.

And when those things do happen, it doesn’t sting — because you already expected it.

Instead, your inner dialogue should reflect confidence — not because you’re arrogant, but because confidence leads to action.

When you tell yourself,

Your decisions start aligning with that identity.

Does that person stay out late the night before an interview, or stay in and prepare?

Do they brush off a tough question, or practice how to handle it better next time?

When you expect success, you take ownership.

You reflect. You adapt. You improve.

So next time your inner voice starts turning negative — pause.

And reframe it.

Because negative self-talk builds habits that lead to failure.

But positive self-talk?

That builds habits that lead to success.

🌱 This week’s step worth taking

Pay attention to your inner voice this week.

When you catch yourself thinking something negative, pause — then flip the script.

The goal isn’t to be blindly positive — it’s to stop letting negative self-talk go unchecked.

Catch it. Reframe it. And slowly, you’ll start building a mindset that pushes you forward instead of holding you back.

📚 Worth the Read

This is a first — I’m recommending a book I haven’t read yet.

But it was highly recommended to me, and based on today’s theme, it felt fitting:

• The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale — a classic on how mindset can shape your reality, filled with practical tools for building confidence and overcoming doubt.

It’s high on my reading list. If you’ve read it, I’d love to hear what you thought. Just reply to this email!

🔄 Misstep of the week

Earlier this summer, I set a goal to journal every day.

But recently… I’ve fallen off.

My routine got messed up, and journaling was lost in the process.

Now, I’m making an effort to bring it back. Because the clarity I receive through reflection is totally worth it.

🙌 Step Spotlight

It’s only fitting to highlight my cousin Liam this week — the inspiration behind this issue.

Liam’s been working on building a more positive inner dialogue.

Because life’s hard enough. No need to make it harder by being your own worst critic.

I know Liam’s going to keep showing up with confidence and positivity.

And hey… maybe it’ll even help straighten out that nasty slice 🏌️‍♂️

Want to be featured in next week’s Step Spotlight? Respond to this issue with a step you’ve taken that you’re proud of.

Until next week.

Step by step,

Nathan

P.S. Some astrologists believe you can truly manifest things into existence (and this article says planets could help?!). I’m not saying I’m fully on board… but hey, if the planets want to help, I won’t stop them.

Follow along with steps I’m taking on
Instagram, LinkedIn, X